So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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