Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
