I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
