i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
