I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I believe in your delicious
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
