guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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