The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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