He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize