I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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