In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
