I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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