he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
