I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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