She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
