Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if only i could text you this smell
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
