I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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