does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
