Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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