She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
