Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
