So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
