Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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