Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
