I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
