if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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