never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
