I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize