so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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