I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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