doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My life is pants optional.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
