with your own penis?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
