so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
