Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
