And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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