I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Soap is not a condiment
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
