I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
