last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
