good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
