We're like a lot better than the average bears
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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