all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
