grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There r osticjed everywhere
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
