is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
