I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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