She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you didnt know i had herpes?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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