Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize