dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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