Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
