Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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