Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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