i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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