She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
