I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
