Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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