sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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