Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
