i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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