Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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