It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
