Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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