she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
