kristin has been a bad kristin
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize