Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
