At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
