no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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