fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
