Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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