it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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