there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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