I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
